Articles
Birth To Three coordinates opinion columns on parenting issues. Read the current one here or past columns dating from August 2009. Please note that the opinions expressed in the articles are those of the authors.
Make Parenting A Pleasure
By Minalee Saks
Happy New Year! After the busy holidays, this is a time when we are settling back into our routines and may be reflecting on our lives.
It’s fairly common for all of us parents to wonder if we are doing the best job possible in raising our children. After all, the day-to-day reality of child-rearing is a mix of, as Birth To Three says, “joy, exhaustion, challenge, stress and delight.” Being a parent can be overwhelming. At some point, every one of us will be tested, no matter what our intentions or resolutions may be.
At Birth To Three, we help parents learn child-rearing tools and support them to take care of themselves. When parents reduce the stress in their lives, they can better care for their children. It helps a lot to know what’s typical behavior for my child’s age and to have strategies for preventing or dealing with problems when they come up. It also helps to be with others who understand…both the amazingly wonderful and the stretched-to-the-limit experiences of being a parent.
At Birth To Three, parents and staff talk about things that help to make parenting a pleasure and nurture children’s growth. With the disclaimer that there are many other valuable ideas, here are some of my favorites:
1. Live your values. Be clear about the values you want your child to learn, and demonstrate them regularly through your actions. Children learn from what they see and experience far more than from what they are told. Children don’t always do what you say, but they will often do what you do.
2. Understand child development and what is reasonable to expect at your child’s age and ability level.
3. Set and carry out clear, consistent and reasonable boundaries for your children, appropriate for their ages and abilities.
4. Give positive attention. Notice and comment on the things your child does that you like.
5. Listen to your child.
6. Use discipline as teaching, not punishment.
7. Choose your focus. Decide what is most important, and let the rest go.
8. See and respect your child for the unique person that he or she is. Understand that your child does not see the world the way that you do.
9. Take time to have fun with your child! The days may go slowly, but the years go by very quickly.
10. Let your children know through your words and actions that they are important and that you love them unconditionally. Be there for them.
Warm wishes for 2012 from all of us at Birth To Three. Whatever resolutions, intentions or commitments you’ve created for your family, here’s to making the most of your time together, 365 days a year.
Minalee Saks, M.S., is the co-founder and executive director of Birth To Three. She is an author of numerous parenting curricula.
